I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
