Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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