And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
