this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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