The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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