At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
