Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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