ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
porn star boner night. come get it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
