dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think people are normalizing furries
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize