If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
