Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
