YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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