You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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