Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
