Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
