How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
