I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
