Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
