do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
