The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Randomize
