woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
