That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can I color on your dick again?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
