If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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