I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
