I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Green mimosas i think yes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
