Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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