Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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