he puts the penis in happiness.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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