this beer tastes like vomit already
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
