This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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