mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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