hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
