i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
