Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
