Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
