do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
