her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
