i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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