pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were trust falling into bushes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
