I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
