I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize