I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
sex in a hospital.. check
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
