But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
North Korea, Best Korea!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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