she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just puked most of my soul out..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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