to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
