I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize