Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
