i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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