I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
