i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
