This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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