Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
