Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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