Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize