He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
