She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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