I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
