yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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