drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dick very happy bro
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize