i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
