just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
