Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I intend to get homeless drunk
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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