i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
