ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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