Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
