just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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