smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
