So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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